They work hard to deliver hot, cheesy food to your front door and only expect a paltry tip in return. They are pizza guys and their stories deserve to be heard. What follows is the story as told to me by such a pizza maker. If he attached his name to that piece of prose, he’s absolutely certain he’d be fired by the corporate pizza powers that be. To preserve its employment (and my pepperoni and mushroom extra large) while allowing it a therapeutic release, I present to you the reasons why your pizza delivery boy hates you.
Recently, new times intern Sarah Ventre provided an extensive list of reasons why your cocktail waitress hates you (Note: Sarah works at an independent bar that has a sense of humor about this stuff. This pizza delivery guy’s business owners don’t.) Judging by some of the comments his article received, the listing has clearly hit a nerve — both with his fellow servers who share his pain and with the rude customers who have been given a dose of sobering reality. .
Not to be outdone, I decided that as an even lower member of the food service hierarchy, I deserved to have my voice heard.
I am a pizza maker.
I’m not sure why pizza guys are looked upon with such pity and disdain by the general public, but please understand that telling people you’re a waitress/waiter is like their say you’re a Fortune 500 CEO rather than telling people you deliver pizza.
Q: How do you get a University of Nebraska graduate out of your house?
A: Pay him for the pizza.